we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I checked into jail on foursquare
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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