The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
