That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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