I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He felt like a one man threesome
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
