i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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