question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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