Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
