Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You were trust falling into bushes
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
