Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
