I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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