a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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