Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
