Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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