I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
