Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
