We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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