Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
are you so shy because you have an std?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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