Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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