Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
