This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
