My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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