I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
