i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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