There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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