Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize