in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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