All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
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he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
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who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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