i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
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Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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