i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Success! We fucked roommates!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
