I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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