Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
