i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
