I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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