new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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