Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My liver just had a heart attack.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
