you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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