The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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