i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
