I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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