I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I checked into jail on foursquare
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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