i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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