One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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