I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we're making bets on your personal life
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize
