she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
