Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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