I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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