I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.