please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
