I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
