sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
