i think my mom watched the whole time
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
