two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
