is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
