Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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