Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize