I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
