My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
