I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
